Week 11 Storytelling: The Cows of Mooville

Once upon a time, in the town of Mooville, there was a crowd of wild young Cows.  They rampaged the fields, ravaged the food supply, and drained the winery on a nightly basis.  The farmer was just about fed up when he came up with a plan to make the Cows calm down.  If the Cows realized where their selfishness could lead, maybe they wouldn’t destroy Mooville.

One night, as the Cows were celebrating as usual, they heard the clanging of a cowbell.  Since they had all removed theirs before the celebrations commenced, they were curious where it was coming from.  Three Cows in particular began to tipsily follow the sound of the bell.  They stumbled and bumbled until they encountered the farmer on his tractor, dragging a Cow along behind him. 

“What are you doing?” one cow slurred.

“Oh, this Cow went a celebratin’ a couple towns over in Moomania,” the farmer calmly replied.  “Unfortunately, he met that sly old thief Death came along and killed him.  He kills lots a people thereabouts.  Takes a rather keen Cow to trick old Death.  Unfortunately, this Cow could not.”

The three Cows rallied their spirits and decided that they were more than smart enough to defeat Death.  They set off towards Moomania and along the way, they encountered a poor, withered old Cow.  This Cow wove them a tale about his own encounters with Death.  By the end of the tale, the three reveling Cows were enthralled and demanded to know where they could meet Death. The old Cow simply pointed down the road, where it split in two. 

The three Cows raced, as well as tipsy Cows can race, towards the fork in the road that was the home of Death.  When they reached it, they found a pile of golden cowbells! They turned to see the old Cow, but he had disappeared.  In their drunkenness, the tipsy Cows did not even question his disappearance. 

Of course, the golden cowbells needed to be split between the three of them but they also needed a way to carry it back to Mooville. Clearly they could not travel during the day, since someone might see them and want to take their cowbells. 

They came up with a plan.  The fastest of the three, who also happened to be the least drunk, was to go to Moomania and fetch some satchels as well as some food and drink for the three of them.  Then they would spend the day with the golden cowbells before traveling back to Mooville. 

The one Cow set off for Moomania and the remaining two sat down to rest.  As they were sitting, they began to think.  Why should they split the gold between three, when they could easily split it between two? The two sitting Cows came up with a plan.  When the runner returned, they would overpower him and take the gold for themselves. 

Of course, what the running Cow had the same idea.  Why should he share the gold when he could take it all for himself? He decided that he would poison two of the wine bottles and take the golden cowbells back to Mooville himself. 

Now, you know what they say about the best laid plans.  And remember that this is a story about Cows that went in search of Death. 

So, when the running Cow returned, the two sitting Cows immediately jumped him.  One pinned him down while the other knocked him over the head with a rock and he never moved again.  The two remaining Cows sat down to celebrate their success, cracking open the food and wine that the runner had brought back.  As soon as the wine touched their lips, they fell down dead alongside their comrade. 

These Cows had gone in search of Death and Death had found them first!

Author’s Note:

For this week’s storytelling, I rewrote The Pardoner’s Tale:The Revelers.  I followed the original story for the most part, although I did cut out quite a few details.  The general story line is the same though.  I have no idea where my idea of replacing the revelers with Cows came from.  There were no cows in sight, I wasn’t drinking milk, I really don’t know!  But it sounded like a great idea at the time.  Now that I’m done with it, I’m not so sure, but who really cares!

Bibliography: “The Pardoner’s Tale: The Revelers” from The Chaucer Story Book by Eva March Tappen (1908). 

Image Source: Cows. Source: Flickr. Three Cows. Source: Flickr. Sleeping Cow. Source: Wikipedia.