I will try to use my words to comment on the design of your blog :) It looks really cool. When I read your introduction, I learned about how you love water. That can be seen in your blog background. It's really cool that you did this! Mine is just plain boring, whereas, when I look at your blog, it makes me think I am looking at a swimming pool or clear blue water.
Initially, I really noticed how dark and grey and grim (pun intended) the layout and the photos were. I think that you did a very good job of setting the pages up so that they embody the tone of the tale. In my opinion, you did a good job of selecting a font that goes well with the story. In the introduction, the font size is large enough that everything is clear and easy to read. The only problem I have with the font is that it is so small on the sidebar that I can’t distinguish what it says there. As for the introduction itself, I think that you did a good job of choosing how to go about writing your story. I definitely felt the irritation while reading it. It works very well as a way to drive the story forward. It is as if the narrator, Charlotte, has something to prove and is beyond willing to do so.
Hello Michaela, When I first opened your site I was impressed. The title is enticing and draws people to want to find out more about it. However, the woodland pathway photo of the cover page is not showing anything more than a question mark in the box, so you may want to see if you can fix that or find a different photo that will work. The font of your tale is great, because it makes me feel like I am reading your character's journal. Your tale continually draws the reader into your story and left me asking for more! I do believe that you could make it even better if you gave us some more details about what the brothers look like, what Charlotte looks like, and even where she is currently and where she is from. For example, you could mention the brothers (height, muscular build, etc. while talking about how the brothers walk into lairs like they own the place. You could then mention that the brothers could never believe that a [insert description here] woman like Charlotte could have played a vital role in their tales. I think this would give the reader a better ability to imagine your character for the later stories and not just the actions of the woman.
When choosing who my random person to comment on was going to be I looked at the titles, and your title caught my eye. There was something about "The Diary of the Only Grimm Sister" that caught my eye. My first thought when seeing the storybook site was it looks dark so that goes a long with the title. Until I realized Grimm was just their last name, not that they were grim people. The next thing I noticed was the picture on the title page was not working. I like the colors you had chosen, but I do think the font could be bigger on the left side of the page since it is a little hard to read. Also the font is a little harder to read when your whole introduction is written in it, at least it is hard for my eyes to follow it. Once finishing the introduction I wanted to know more. Men do like to over exaggerate things quite a bit!
Nice job in creating a really unique storybook! The idea of a little sister being the unsung hero is not a common one to stumble across. It will be really cool to see all the popular stories told from a different perspective. My only problem with your storybook was the appearance of the writing. I’m not sure if it is the font or the color choice of the words and the background, but I had a really difficult time reading your introduction. I tried to read your Rumpelstiltskin story but I couldn’t make it very far without straining my eyes and getting a headache. I think you have created a really awesome storybook and I look forward to seeing how it progresses through the course of the rest of the semester. My only suggestion is that you make it a bit more reader friendly and change the font and/or color scheme! Good job and good luck!
Overall, I am so intrigued with this story! I like the added take on there by incorporating the unknown sister Charlotte. Although a lot of people have commented on your font, I like the one that you chose. Yes, the size of the font could be enlarged since the script comes across as small. But I do like the swirliness of it, since it fits in to the time period of your story very well by going with a monotype corovisa - esque font. I also like how you bounced back and forth between the bar and the retelling of the Rumpelstilskin tale. I think you did a great job, since the tale was easy to read and follow. I am very excited to read more later on!
I am very impressed with your storybook topic! I really like how it tells the story of the real hero and how the little sister was really the on doing everything in the background without taking any credit. As for the retelling of rumpelstilskin I really like how you had the story go from the retelling to the conversation in the bar with the grim brothers. This gave me the feeling of actually being there with the three of them, just listening. As for the font I to struggled to read the story because of it. I am not sure if it was because of the font or the size. To not make you change the font because I do think it is a good font you should maybe try enlarging the size it to see if that helps any. If not you could maybe find a similar font to the on you have to make your great story easier to read! Overall good job!
Hi Michaela, First observation, is the " in the time of myth" a reference from the British TV series Merlin? If so that is awesome, if not its still awesome because it is very fitting for this blog. The first thing that caught my attention was your title. Bringing in the new idea of a Grimm sister was very original. It made me very curious and sparked my interest. Your writing was also great. You have developed such a strong character, who has a very strong personality. Which made it easy to relate to her struggles. I think that your background and picture choices are very fitting and go well with the tone you are trying to create. You did a great job and I can't wait to read more.
Hello Michaela, I came back to see how your storybook has progressed! Last time I read this I was left hanging and craving more, which is exactly what you want your reading to do. So congratulations! I like that you provide us with the backstory of Rumplestiltskin and the queen, because I have never read this story and it helped me better understand why he is a villain. I also really like how you gave Charlotte an attitude and I laughed pretty hard when you described their "slightly more sophisticated snare." I could definitely feel her anger towards her brothers and I like how you emphasize all the work she is putting into finding the name. I really like how you placed details in the end to prove that she was there and you brought to life the emotions the brothers felt when being embarrassed. Your story is so easy to read and you always leave me wanting to find out more. I can't wait until your next tale to see what you come up with!
I picked your Storybook for my extra Project Feedback! I was drawn in by your title, I thought it would be so cool if they had a sister. The front page is inticing, and your introduction was well done. It told us the back story and what we should expect.
I also enjoyed your first story! It had just enough changed that it was still a really interesting retelling of a story most of us are familiar with.
I have a few suggestions for you.
First of all, the font was a little hard to read, and since it is not a diary, I suggest maybe you should change it? (Usually styles like that look good in a diary sort of Storybook--unless you want it to feel like a Diary, then that's fine!) But, that might just be me! So don't do that unless you agree with me, if not ignore that suggestion!
A minor thing, but I think it would help if you described what Charlotte looks like, or provide a picture of someone who looks similar to her. That was something I would like, so when I read it I can imagine Charlotte better. Also including YOUR descriptions of the brothers would be good too! Again, so I can picture them. And you can even include a picture of them in there as well! I think pictures of all the characters would fit fell into your Introduction.
Hi Michaela! We are in a group together, hence, I am back on your comment wall to put up more comments :)
The coverpage looks very nice and interesting. The dark layout sets the tone from the beginning. I already have a feel for the story and I haven't read the introduction yet.
Very nice job on the introduction. It provides great details into the background of your storybook and also about how the stories are going to be like. I like how you told us what the actual stories are going to be about. I cannot wait to read them. I liked the layout and the font as I think it fits nicely with the theme of the story.
Now to the actual story. WOW! The story was so beautifully written!! Your ability to have Charlotte tell the story in the past tense and also have dialogues in the present tense is remarkable. The transition was excellent and the story flowed really well. I did not find any error. So great job on that.
I cannot wait for the other stories. Excellent job!
Hi Michaela, I liked the theme you have going on. Your cover image added a nice touch to the dark tales of the Grimm Brothers. Also made me think of their sister spying on them through the bushes and writing in her diary. I also like the grey and blue color scheme. It is easy to read and goes well together. The text in your introduction was a little hard to read but I can see why you chose it. The hand script goes well with the diary theme. I also think it is really cool that you are making them the real unnamed heroes in their stories. But like a little sister would do, you acknowledged it to them being arrogant and building their egos. I think the way you wrote your introduction was very compatible with how a little sister would describe her brothers. She was the true hero! Good job. I think the only thing you are missing is the caption and source of your picture.
I really enjoyed what you have done so far with you storybook. The color scheme and the font I feel really adds another dimension to the story one thing that I would advise changing is maybe making the font bold or bigger because I kind of had a hard time reading it at times. I really enjoyed your writing and other than a few grammatical errors that can be easily fixed. Other than that the style of your writing is really interesting and fun and I can't wait to see where you take this!
Your storybook looks amazing! I was instantly drawn in by the title and I knew I needed to see what it was all about. I like that you're making it how the sister is coming back to let people know the real truth to the stories. Having this topic makes allows you to have a lot of ways where you could be creative in your storytelling. I look forward to seeing where you go with that. My only issue is that I had to read a few times because of the font. It's very eerie and in tune with what you're trying to do, but kind of slows you down when trying to read. Other than that, I think you are doing a wonderful job and I look forward to seeing where you go with this storybook in the future.
Hi again! Since I liked your storybook so much the first time, I decided to revisit it for extra credit! Yay!
I liked your rendition of the story of Hansel and Grethel. I did not realize that her name was spelled with a 'th' and not a 't.' Anyways, the only major comment that I have about this story is that while I do enjoy the sidebars, it can be a bit confusing as the reader. It makes you question if our main female protagonist is talking to you the reader, or her brothers, or to those listening in the tavern? Not saying that your diction was bad by any means. Just a bit hard to follow.
Other than that, can't wait to read your next tale!
Your storybook looks great! I love the image you used for the cover page as well as the font. The font definitely gives off that fairytale vibe. However, even though the font matches the theme, it does make reading a little bit harder. Maybe you can have a similar looking font with less curves so that it is easier to read. I also like the color scheme of the storybook; it's dark just like the Grimm stories! Your introduction was great. It set the scene for the rest of your storybook quite well. Your first story was great. It looks like you put a lot of thinking into it, especially at point where the Grimm brothers come into the story. I also liked that you separated the parts of her telling the story and the parts where she interacted with her brothers in "reality." Great job so far on the storybook. I can't wait to read the full thing!
Hey Michaela, I really enjoyed your Hansel and Gretel story. I thought, like your other story that it had a lot of voice and action and the descriptive language that you used really let me envision the story in my head as I was reading it. I think that the font goes well with the fact that it is a girl who I’m assuming is writing this down in a journal of sorts but the font at times is a little hard to read so I would suggest perhaps either making it bolder or maybe a different color. I really like the way you make it sound that the Grimm brothers were just nonsense and that it was really the sister that fixed everything and I think that this story did a very good job of relating that. Good work and I can’t wait to read your other stories!
Hey Michaela! So I absolutely love the storybook that you are doing!! I absolutely love it! I think it’s fantastic! I love the idea that the Brothers Grimm were complete idiots and that all of the real work was done by their sister! Like they say, behind every man is a great woman!
I think the idea of this sister gives their stories a whole new dimension and really sets up a fun way to look at the stories. The heroic sister that is always saving the day behind her brothers backs is ingenious! The story of Rumplestiltskin is a perfect example of the way the sister would help and I think it’s a great way to show the story as well! A hidden aspect of an age old story!
The second story is great as well and I can have no complaints about the grammar or the spelling. Seems like you have it well under control! I also really like the layout and design of your storybook, I think it makes it very authentic feeling! Great Job!
This is my second time reading from your Storybook. I really like the concept of your Storybook. The idea of their sister doing their dirty work is such a great concept. Since I've already read your intro and first story, and given comments on that--I have read your second story.
I liked seeing the behind the scenes of how the boys found their cases. I reminded me of the show Supernatural, actually.
I thought the plotting we done well, and I liked the interuption from the brothers in the middle of it.
I think some of your paragraphs are too long, so I would vary your paragraph length.
I would also try to describe more. I said before the describe Charlotte and her Brothers. I don't know if you included that yet? But I would have liked to see Hansel described, as well as the Witch.
That being said, I liked how she had a special Witch Gun, and the Witch turned to ashes--that was a really cool concept.
I still think a more simple font would work better. The font is a little hard to read, and as I said, I think the font works better if it were a diary, which it's not.
That being said, I really do like your Storybook and I've enjoyed reading everything that I've read from it!
Wow Michaela! I love your storybook! I love that you brought in the sister to be the brains behind it all. Its clever to that she is coming out to get the credit even though it was always thought her brothers were the masterminds.
This is my first time to your storybook, and I love the layout. It has that creepy feel to it, but you kept it easy to read and follow. I really like your font size. I am a huge fan a large fonts because I hate struggling to read those tiny fonts. Your colors are also very easy to read. I know some people may not be too fond of your font choice, but I think it goes with your feel of the Grimm family. The script makes it look and feel kind of creepy.
After reading through your stories, I did not see any major grammar issues. I am really excited to come back and ready more of your storybook later in the semester!
Hi Michaela! I am back on your comment wall because I wanted to read the other story that you added for my extra project feedback assignment.
Again, the layout and the background compliment the style of your story. The coverpage and the introduction both look great.
Wow Michaela, the second story looks really good as well, and it is written in the same style as the first one. So good job on keeping the same tone throughout. The continuation from the first to the second was excellent. You added some great details, which helps when picturing what is happening. The way the house was described, the way the witch's movements were described, and the way the brothers came to the house in the end made it seem like I was watching them in a movie. Great use of details. I didn't find any error in this story either.
I will definitely come back to read the other story that you add. Again, excellent job!
I know that I mentioned it in my last comment, but I really like how you have your Storybook set up and laid out. The way that the photos and font fits so well with the layout is great! The font not only fits with the background, but it also fits the tone of the story. I liked how the story gets interrupted by the brothers and how you divide it into sections. It made it feel more realistic. I thought it was an interesting choice to skip most of the Rumpelstiltskin story or at least skim it. It was a good way for you to focus on your story rather than the story that almost everyone knows. Including the tavern was another small thing that I enjoyed. The interactions between the siblings were fun to read. The tension there felt realistic. It didn’t feel forced or overly cheesy. You did a good job starting off on your Storybook.
Let me just say that I love the idea you used for your storybook. It’s brilliant, really, and I can’t wait to read more about it. The mannerisms and style of speech you used for Charlotte really help me get to know her character and I can’t wait to read more.
I’m just going to list a few things that stood out to me while reading.
Intro:
• “they were the ‘hunter’” bothers me. Maybe your could change it to say “it was in fact my brothers, not a single hunter, that cut little red…” or replace that sentence with “It was actually my brothers that defeated the witch for Hansel and Gretel, cut Little Red Riding Hood out of the wolf, and revealed Rumplestiltskin’s true name.”
• “Many of the villains that they vanquished were defeated by what would seem to be a great deal of blind luck.” →were actually defeated by a great deal of blind luck.
• Paragraph 6. Many of the sentences start with “Like” maybe replace one with “Or the time when…” Just to add some sentence variety. • Overall the intro flows really well and makes me want to read more. Great job.
Rumpelstiltskin
• First paragraph: Is she addressing her brothers, the audience at the tavern or the reader? The “I, Charlotte Grimm,” part confused me. It just flows a little strangely from the intro. Maybe say “I turned to my brother and said” or “I addressed the crowed tavern…” • Second paragraph: Just an idea to reorganize this paragraph.“The tale of Rumpelstiltskin comes from the kingdom of Mackdaddiland. There lived a little man who did magical favors for people in exchange for something of value, usually gold or precious jewels. However, the woman who was now the queen of the land had made a different bargain. In the woman’s past, she had been a miller’s daughter and the little man helped her to become queen by spinning straw into gold. In return she had promised Rumplestiltskin her first-born. • I love the exchange between the siblings. Very believable and funny. • I wondered where you came up with Mackdaddiland.
I really like your story and enjoyed reading it. I can’t wait to see how you retell Hansel and Gretel. Overall your storybook is well conceived and executed. I like your design and the font is easy to read once you get used to it. I also like the images you chose for Rumpelstiltskin. I do think that the tavern on the intro page is a little too modern for the Brother’s Grimm time period. I tried to follow the image link to get more information about it and it just took more to the main pixabay site instead of the image page. I found a few good images when I googled 19th century tavern though. Like this one.
These are all just suggestions so if they are not helpful to you, just ignore them! I really like your storybook!
Hi Michaela! For this week, I read the story "Jorinda and Jorindel." As we continue on this journey with Charlotte, I feel as if we get to know her even more and how much she really looks out for her brothers. For this sentence: "He had heard that the Brothers Grimm were in the town, so he had come as fast as he could," I think "had come" sound a little weird. Maybe you can say "he came as fast as he could" instead? I like the joke Charlotte made about her brothers looking like the living dead. The story was amazing and Charlotte's fun and quirky personality made it really interesting to read. I would have liked to hear more about Jorindel and Jorinda though! As for grammar and sentence structure, I think you did a great job in varying how long your sentences were and how they started. It makes it easier to read. There are only a few grammatical errors, which can be easily fixed if you just read it out loud and slowly to yourself. Great job overall.
Hey Michaela, So reading your story about Hansel and Grethel was very enjoyable to me because I really like how you incorporated charlotte to the story. It was very interesting how you were able to keep the storyline the same and at the same time have Charlotte kill the witch and saving the children. I think having you not change the storyline gives the whole storybook more meaning because it tells you what really happened without there being a big change to the storyline. I loved the fact that after thing was set and done the two brothers “burst through the trees on horseback, guns drawn.” The way your worded that was excellent because it allowed me to play the little movie in my head of the two brothers arriving at the scene like that. I did not find any major errors that I want to point out. You did a fantastic job on this story and I cannot wait to read more!
This is my second time visit your storybook. I wanted to continue to read your stories because they captured my interest the first time. This time I read the "Hansel and Grethel" story. You did a wonderful job with the flow of the story. Another thing you did really well was keep much of the original storyline but built Charlotte into the story as a main character. It really makes it easier to see the connections between the original stories and the stories that you have created. I giggled at the end when the brothers finally showed up at the scene all ready to do some major action, but everything was already taken care of! And they didn't even check to see if the witch was dead -____- You're doing an amazing job! I look forward to reading more.
Hi Michaela, As this week’s assignment called for a review of a storybook we have looked at in the past, I knew I wanted to look at the other stories you added. I thought it was funny that Charlotte reintroduced herself in “Rumpelstiltskin”. Like your introduction, it is very reminiscent to how a younger sister would act towards her older brothers who always take the credit of any heroic actions. I also found it humorous that the brothers thought Rumpelstiltskin would be dumb enough to fall for an animal trap. The interjections was also very believable. Sibling rivalry at its best. Charlotte had the name of this little tiny man about to take the baby prince away from the Queen but miraculously, the animal trap worked giving her brothers all the credit. I didn’t even notice the Kingdom name until you mentioned it in your author’s note. “Mackdaddiland,” is the funniest name, I laughed out loud when you referenced it.
I keep finding myself returning to your Storybook! I think yours is one of my favorites in the class! I just think it's such a cool retelling of the stories that most of us know. Plus the concept is so original. I don't think anyone has ever done the story about the Grimm's sister before!
I had never heard of this story before, so this was all new to me!
I love stories with fairies, and this was a mean fairy! I was hooked in right away.
I wondered how she found out about the fairy though, maybe add in that she had spoken to local people or she overheard the stories.
So, I liked that you added that she found out about the flower in an old book.
I was thiking that she was going to become a bird, but when I saw it happen I was still surprised! What a great plot twist, and complication for the main character. (conflict makes good stories great!) As you said, it adds a great dimension to this Storybook. I hadn't thought she was perfect, but now that you mention it, I do think it was a good idea for her to have a slip-up.
As per usual, I enjoyed the comedic interuptions from her bothers.
I also think your choices with making her a falcon, and the book by Hans Christian Anderson were really thoughtful and well done. The falcon represented her so much better.
Hi Michaela! I remember reading your storybook not long ago, but I wanted to come back and see what else you had added, and I am so glad I did! I still find this entire theme to be one of the most entertaining in the class! I love the sibling rivalry for the credit. Your stories are so easy to read, and easy to follow along. I think what sets your stories apart from others is your aspect of comedy. You keep the mood light in a way through the brothers. I am really looking forward to seeing your final and finished project in the next couple of weeks! You have done a great job so far!
Hi Michaela! I am so happy that I came back to revisit your story! In your latest tale (Jordina and Jorindel), I think you did a good job with telling the tale in your own way, while bouncing back and forth between the storytelling and the bar. I had all of the same thoughts that you had in your author's note, like how Charlotte is actually seen making quite a few mistakes. It makes her character more realistic and believable since you gave her another level of humanity.
My only suggestion to you would be concerning the spacing. Yes, I like how nicely spaced out all of your text is. But it does not have to be that after every two sentences that there is a new paragraph, like when you talk of Charlotte being in search of the purple flower.
You did a great job with the visual placements and everything else, so good job once more!
I remembered visiting your storybook earlier in the semester. It was probably one of the first ones I think I visited. Your storybook was one that stood out to me even to this point because it was so unique. I loved that you took stories that everyone has heard before and told them from a new perspective. I think this is the most effective to retell a story that most of your readers have previously heard. One of the smaller aspects that I particularly enjoy is the banter between the brothers and their sister. She is always so quick to put them in their place! And it’s funny that the other people within the tavern do the same! It is looking like the boys reputation is going downhill pretty fast. Great work on your storybook so far! I can’t wait to see what else you write as the semester progresses.
This was my first time visiting your project and I must that I am glad that I did! I have heard about the Grimms before and the tales that are associated with them but I think that what you are doing with the stories is very cool. It is such a plot twist to find out that there was a third person involved with all these heroic actions. I would like to start out by saying that I love your layout. It is mysterious and fits in very nicely with the mystery of finding out what really happened in these stories. I read your Introduction this week and I enjoyed it very much. I did not notice grammatical errors and if there were some they were obviously not that bad since I was able to get through the story without any issues. I am excited to read more from this sister's point of view and will definitely consider this a project to come back to in the future. Great job.
Hi again Michaela, Hansel and Gretel has always been a story that really bothered me in ways. After all, what kind of parent leaves their kids out in the woods to die? I like the fact that Charlotte always gets the jump on her two brothers simply by doing work. It’s as if she isn’t having to try very hard, yet she still manages to best them. I was a little curious why it took the brothers and the travelers so long to get to Crumbleton in comparison with Charlotte. There are little things, like the “of course” in the sentence “I, of course, had gotten far more information…” that really help make Charlotte’s character for me. I also like that she is a little innocent or naïve at times, like when she got lost in the woods. That helps make her a round character in my opinion. It makes her complex. After all, no one is a hero 100% of the time.
Hello Michaela! Oh I love your storybook topic! The entire idea is just fantastic and the second I saw the title I knew I had to click it. The idea that the brothers had a younger sister who really saved the day, oh I can't put into words how much I love it. She played the part of quiet hero until she could bear their arrogance no longer and then bam! Calling them out in front of every patron of the bar, you go girl! And really, how dumb are they to continue to deny her claim only to have more embracing evidence laid against them. If only they weren't so thick skinned and just thanked her after the first story then they'd have saved themselves maybe a little bit of face. I love how even though she is the true hero and she is calling them out she still retains an air of humility that makes her likable and different from her brothers.
Hi, Michaela! I decided to take a look at your storybook this week for my free choice, and I was not disappointed. First, I love the font and colors you chose for your storybook. The blues compliment the grey background very well, and the font goes perfectly with the diary idea. I read your introduction, and I thought it was really well done! The little sister with praiseworthy older siblings is something so many people can relate to! The line about their egos made me laugh, and reminded me of some people that I know—like I said, relatable. I think your transition at this point into the real content of your storybook was really well done. You made an already relatable, likeable character into an adventuring badass—who doesn’t like that? I would have loved to seen a little bit more about her motivation for letting her brothers believe they were the heroes, but other than that, I absolutely loved it! I can’t wait to read more.
Hi, Michaela! Although I stumbled upon your work relatively recently, I loved both your storytelling and your project! SinceI enjoyed your work so much, I wanted to include you in the final appreciation week of blog comment extra credit. I appreciate what was obviously hard work and well thought out stories on your part! I hope the rest of your semester goes really well, and I hope you are able to finish out this class strong (I have no doubt you will).
Hi Michaela, let me start off by saying that it is a pleasure to read your stories. I love your characters and the entire theme of the storybook. This entry did not disappoint. Charlotte once again steals the scene with her feisty attitude.
I really like the images your chose for this story. The help set the right mood for each scene, from the deserted streets of the town to the slightly spooky forest.
I thought it was interesting that Wilhelm and Jacob were not the only people traveling to Crumbleton to defeat the witch. What happened to the other men when they got to the town? I would also like to hear more about how the brothers made fools of themselves in the town.
I love the fact that Charlotte got lost in the woods and she wasn’t afraid to admit it when she retold the story. It says a lot about the kind of person she is and lends her even more credibility with her audience. I enjoyed the interplay between the siblings in this interjection. I can see these types of arguments coming up in real life between siblings. Its also nice to see that they still care about each other.
One thing I wondered about was that Grethel wasn’t being fed. Charlotte arrived in town three weeks before and witches like plump children, right? Seems like the witch would be keeping her well-fed too.
I’m really interested in this witch gun. What is it? Is it some special technology or magic? Very cool. I love how Charlotte fearlessly rushes in and saves the day.
I skimmed through a few of the comments on your wall and it looks like the next story is about fairies. I’m so excited to read it! There are several fairies in my storybook so I can’t wait to see what you wrote about and find some more possible material. You did a great job this week.
Hi Michaela. Not only are you one of my project feedback group members for the week, but I also chose you for one of my appreciation posts. I really enjoy reading your storybook and it inspires me to improve my writing. I like your lighthearted writing style and it makes me wish my writing was a bit less serious! Keep up the good work.
Hi Michaela! I am back I because I was checking to see if you added another story. And I was happy to see that you did.
Again, the layout and the background looks really great, and it goes nicely with the stories..
The third story looks really good as well. It is so great to see that you continued on with the same tone and style as the other stories. Some people tend to go off-focus and write in a completely new style, but you kept the same style, which is great! You picked up right where you left off in the second story, which meant that I knew exactly what was happening. Great amount of details again. Great use of the images also as they all did an excellent job complimenting your descriptions. I am starting to like Jacob :)
I am so happy to see that you will add one more story! Cannot wait to read that. Again, excellent job with this one also!
I am writing this comment on your wall because of why I appreciate your work in this class. I appreciate it because you’ve read some of my stories and have always left comments about how it would make my stories better. I always considered your comments when I wrote more stories to make them better. Thank you for your opinions and I hope that you have a nice semester.
I loved your story about Rumpelstliltskin! Especially the perspective you gave! I like how you told it in first person and made me feel like I needed to know more the entire time! The fancy font you use is also very great. It fits the personality of your hero.
That's the other thing I really liked. Your hero sold the story and you have made her so confident and forthright. I like it when a hero is completely active and not standing around twittling their thumbs. You make her awesome the whole time. She is a great character and I look forward to see what else will happen in future stories.
I say maybe add some more space with the paragraphs. It gets a little daunting at times reading that much. You could break up the words with some more images. That would do the trick! Keep up the good work!
Great, great storybook. I understand why it's on the class list of favorites! Right from the get-go, you transported me into this world. I also really liked the images you picked for your stories, especially the first one. The black and white color scheme was a nice choice to match the theme of your entire storybook. All of your images fit with your stories so well. Your writing style was an interesting choice and you did it really well. I, too, did a diary-style of writing, so it was cool to see how someone else interpreted the writing style. I really, really enjoyed reading yours! I like the interludes with the characters during the tales. I also like how you concluded your story with "the tale that started it all."
Overall, GREAT job! I really enjoyed reading your storybook. It was entertaining! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your year.
Hi Michaela! I was so excited to see that your storybook was voted one of the favorites because I have been following along with it all semester! I will tell you over and over how creative I think this idea is! I never would have thought to pull in a sister character to tell and re tell stories. I also really enjoy how you bring some comedic relief to some of these stories! You also have great pictures with your stories! If you can not tell yet, I really really like your storybook! Having the diary-style writing made it much easier to connect with your stories. I never struggled with following along or understanding why something happened because you wrote very clear and very detailed. I have very impressed with your storybook and think you should consider a blog outside of class too! I would read it! Thank you for giving me something fun and entertaining to read all semester! Good job!
Hi Michaela! I'm back once again! First off, congrats on your storybook being a class favorite! I knew that I had to come back one last time to finish reading your storybook, since the last time I read was Jorinda and Jorindel. I thought you chose a good tale to end your storybook on, which gave you a somewhat optimistic outlook! I feel bad for the brothers, though, and how they never knew that dear Charlotte had a husband who is now missing. You kept your writing consistent and did NOT end up on a flop! Great job!
You did such a great job on this storybook. I really liked reading every story. The background and images really helps us visualize the events, settings, and characters in the story. The font was easy to read and wasn’t boring. It also didn’t take away from the story. I felt like all the stories were very well written. It was very nice to have it written in first person and to have thought quotes throughout. It put us in your head and put us head first in the story. It was also personalized because we knew what you were thinking. I didn’t see any grammatical errors or confusing parts, so you did a good job with editing. The exclamation marks really put emphasis throughout. This was something I wish I did for my story to really put it in the moment when someone was yelling. The stories were very captivating and I really liked reading the Set The Record Straight story. It got intense at times and that really pulled me in. You did a great job with this and I’m glad I read this.
I love this storybook! I voted it as one of my favorites for the assignment last week. I always enjoy stories that come from a different perspective than the more commonly told one. I read the final story on your site and I thought it was a great way to end it! The brothers finally came around to accepting their sister’s help and offering her some. I like the fact that you added another side to your narrator. Not only is she a certified badass, but she is also a very sympathetic and compassionate person who cares about those around her. I wish the story would continue on so I could know if she ends up finding her husband! I’ll just choose to think that she does and they all live happily ever after. Really wonderful job on your site! I’m so glad I chose to able to revisit your Storybook!
Hi Michaela, I've been following your storybook for most of the semester and it’s one of my favorites. You did a wonderful job developing Charlotte’s character throughout the stories. I can totally picture her as a falcon, not some simpering songbird.
As I was reading your last story, it really struck me how much Charlotte acts like an older sister. She is always looking out for her brothers and keeps a cool head under pressure. I also like how Wihelm and Jacob started to develop their own characters as well. When Jacob finally gave Charlotte her due, I couldn’t help but smile.
When you introduced her husband, I was shocked. That was a great way to retell The Robber Bridegroom and it was totally unexpected. Looking back at your other stories, it would be awesome to add in some foreshadowing about her husband. Perhaps she could have some unnamed helper in some of the exploits. I can really see them working together to save her brothers.
I also love how you ended your storybook with the start of a new adventure. There was closure but my imagination is running wild with all the possibilities for the future. I think you did a great job on this project and I really enjoyed reading your stories.
Hello! I read your storybook back when there was only the introduction, but I would never have guessed it would progress as it did. I am really impressed with the style you chose to write in (retelling the story through a character to a crowd) and the tales you picked to inspire your entries. I feel like this would be a perfect spin on a classic to make into a movie!
I think my favourite of the tales is probably Jorinda and Jorindel, just because we get to see that Charlotte is still a person and can make mistakes. It also goes to show that just because you make mistakes doesn't mean you can't come out on top in the end! Overall, I really enjoyed the journey and I think the sequel hook at the end was really well placed. These adventurers aren't done yet! Congrats on making the Favourites List; it's easy to see why!
Hello, Michaela! Your storybook was a blast to read! I enjoyed it so much that I just had to read the entire thing in one go. The Brothers Grimm are the top fairytale stories that I loved to read as a child. This reimagining of them told by their sister was a great story.
The style of your storybook really set the tone for some awesome adventures that were told by Charlotte. Each story she told only revealed how much she helped her brothers conquer the evil witches, fairies, and other beings. That last story was a sad and touching story and left an open door for more adventures to come.
I love it how her brothers kept interrupting and how you separated their injections each time. It really added to the storytelling aspect of your storybook because it simulated what actually would happen whenever someone tells such stories.
Honestly, I feel like your storybook could become a potential movie. In fact, as I read your stories, each scene in my mind had many actors and actresses playing the role of the brothers and Charlotte as well as the people in the tavern and stories.
I nominated your storybook as one of the best ones in the class. I really enjoyed reading the stories that you wrote in it all semester. I loved it because you kept it close to the original stories when the brothers kept "swooping in" and saving the day even though the sister did most of the work.
When I read your stories, I kept picturing them in my mind like a TV show and I think it would be an amazing one to watch. It is like an alternate reality and I love that.
Your imagery and storytelling really added to the theme and mood you set in your storybook. You did a seriously amazing job. Good work this semester, you should be insanely proud!
I remember this being one of the first storybooks that I read. It sure has come a long way and it looks wonderful! I enjoyed reading it this time just as much as I did the first time. The way you incorporated so many different pictures really brought the stories alive. I liked the way you ended your storybook with setting the record straight, and letting people know the end result. You never forgot what the stories were supposed to be about, and you ended it just like you started it. Your author's notes told exactly what was needed about the original and how you changed it up. A lot of people do not put much thought into their author's notes, but they are one of my favorite things to read because they tell what the author was thinking of when they were writing the stories.
I remember coming to your storybook and thinking that it was a great project. Congratulations on the nomination! Your hard work has been noticed! After reading come of your stories I can see why it was nominated. I love how you work very closely with the originals yet make it your own. I also think that your stories to an excellent job of building off of each other. Your entries really are like new chapters in a book and I think that is very important in this type of project. I really enjoyed the ending to your storybook as the reader got a concrete answer rather than just a lot of wondering. I think your Author's notes are also really excellent. They are really descriptive and that really helped me out to know exactly what your intentions were and what you were thinking when you were writing. Another thing about your stories that I really did enjoy was your incorporation of images. I think you place them in great spots throughout your writing. This was an excellent project!
I have absolutely loved your storybook this semester and I am very glad that I got to read it! Your writing in the story Jorinda and Jorindel was very well done and I really enjoyed reading it. I thought the little minor details that you added like them not being very tolerant with the amount of alcohol that they drink really gave the characters some more depth and really lets the reader get to know them better. I also like the fact that you changed the type of bird that Charlotte turned into to make her personality. Making it a very strong and fierce bird really aided to the overall understanding of the type of girl that she is and I think that it was a really nice addition to the story. Overall your writing technically is very good and you should be proud of all the hard work you have done this semester!
Hello! I am actually in the Indian Epics class, but since this week we are given the opportunity to comment on other works, I decided to read through your storybook. It was really interesting to see how the different classes have their own styles of writing, based on what we have all been reading and I definitely enjoyed reading through your storybook. Firstly, I was really intrigued by the title of your Storybook. I grew up reading an old copy of Grimm’s fairy tales and also one of my favorite movies is The Brothers Grimm with Heath Ledger and Matt Damon. I like how you portrayed the brothers as arrogant and fool-hardy. Your character of Charlotte reminded me of the saying, “Behind every great man is a great woman,” which I definitely appreciated. Overall, I really loved your story book. Good luck with the remainder of the semester and finals!
I will try to use my words to comment on the design of your blog :) It looks really cool. When I read your introduction, I learned about how you love water. That can be seen in your blog background. It's really cool that you did this! Mine is just plain boring, whereas, when I look at your blog, it makes me think I am looking at a swimming pool or clear blue water.
ReplyDeleteInitially, I really noticed how dark and grey and grim (pun intended) the layout and the photos were. I think that you did a very good job of setting the pages up so that they embody the tone of the tale. In my opinion, you did a good job of selecting a font that goes well with the story. In the introduction, the font size is large enough that everything is clear and easy to read. The only problem I have with the font is that it is so small on the sidebar that I can’t distinguish what it says there. As for the introduction itself, I think that you did a good job of choosing how to go about writing your story. I definitely felt the irritation while reading it. It works very well as a way to drive the story forward. It is as if the narrator, Charlotte, has something to prove and is beyond willing to do so.
ReplyDeleteHello Michaela,
ReplyDeleteWhen I first opened your site I was impressed. The title is enticing and draws people to want to find out more about it. However, the woodland pathway photo of the cover page is not showing anything more than a question mark in the box, so you may want to see if you can fix that or find a different photo that will work. The font of your tale is great, because it makes me feel like I am reading your character's journal. Your tale continually draws the reader into your story and left me asking for more! I do believe that you could make it even better if you gave us some more details about what the brothers look like, what Charlotte looks like, and even where she is currently and where she is from. For example, you could mention the brothers (height, muscular build, etc. while talking about how the brothers walk into lairs like they own the place. You could then mention that the brothers could never believe that a [insert description here] woman like Charlotte could have played a vital role in their tales. I think this would give the reader a better ability to imagine your character for the later stories and not just the actions of the woman.
When choosing who my random person to comment on was going to be I looked at the titles, and your title caught my eye. There was something about "The Diary of the Only Grimm Sister" that caught my eye. My first thought when seeing the storybook site was it looks dark so that goes a long with the title. Until I realized Grimm was just their last name, not that they were grim people. The next thing I noticed was the picture on the title page was not working. I like the colors you had chosen, but I do think the font could be bigger on the left side of the page since it is a little hard to read. Also the font is a little harder to read when your whole introduction is written in it, at least it is hard for my eyes to follow it. Once finishing the introduction I wanted to know more. Men do like to over exaggerate things quite a bit!
ReplyDeleteNice job in creating a really unique storybook! The idea of a little sister being the unsung hero is not a common one to stumble across. It will be really cool to see all the popular stories told from a different perspective. My only problem with your storybook was the appearance of the writing. I’m not sure if it is the font or the color choice of the words and the background, but I had a really difficult time reading your introduction. I tried to read your Rumpelstiltskin story but I couldn’t make it very far without straining my eyes and getting a headache. I think you have created a really awesome storybook and I look forward to seeing how it progresses through the course of the rest of the semester. My only suggestion is that you make it a bit more reader friendly and change the font and/or color scheme! Good job and good luck!
ReplyDeleteOverall, I am so intrigued with this story! I like the added take on there by incorporating the unknown sister Charlotte. Although a lot of people have commented on your font, I like the one that you chose. Yes, the size of the font could be enlarged since the script comes across as small. But I do like the swirliness of it, since it fits in to the time period of your story very well by going with a monotype corovisa - esque font. I also like how you bounced back and forth between the bar and the retelling of the Rumpelstilskin tale. I think you did a great job, since the tale was easy to read and follow. I am very excited to read more later on!
ReplyDeleteI am very impressed with your storybook topic! I really like how it tells the story of the real hero and how the little sister was really the on doing everything in the background without taking any credit. As for the retelling of rumpelstilskin I really like how you had the story go from the retelling to the conversation in the bar with the grim brothers. This gave me the feeling of actually being there with the three of them, just listening. As for the font I to struggled to read the story because of it. I am not sure if it was because of the font or the size. To not make you change the font because I do think it is a good font you should maybe try enlarging the size it to see if that helps any. If not you could maybe find a similar font to the on you have to make your great story easier to read! Overall good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Michaela,
ReplyDeleteFirst observation, is the " in the time of myth" a reference from the British TV series Merlin? If so that is awesome, if not its still awesome because it is very fitting for this blog. The first thing that caught my attention was your title. Bringing in the new idea of a Grimm sister was very original. It made me very curious and sparked my interest. Your writing was also great. You have developed such a strong character, who has a very strong personality. Which made it easy to relate to her struggles. I think that your background and picture choices are very fitting and go well with the tone you are trying to create. You did a great job and I can't wait to read more.
Hello Michaela,
ReplyDeleteI came back to see how your storybook has progressed! Last time I read this I was left hanging and craving more, which is exactly what you want your reading to do. So congratulations! I like that you provide us with the backstory of Rumplestiltskin and the queen, because I have never read this story and it helped me better understand why he is a villain. I also really like how you gave Charlotte an attitude and I laughed pretty hard when you described their "slightly more sophisticated snare." I could definitely feel her anger towards her brothers and I like how you emphasize all the work she is putting into finding the name. I really like how you placed details in the end to prove that she was there and you brought to life the emotions the brothers felt when being embarrassed. Your story is so easy to read and you always leave me wanting to find out more. I can't wait until your next tale to see what you come up with!
I picked your Storybook for my extra Project Feedback! I was drawn in by your title, I thought it would be so cool if they had a sister. The front page is inticing, and your introduction was well done. It told us the back story and what we should expect.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed your first story! It had just enough changed that it was still a really interesting retelling of a story most of us are familiar with.
I have a few suggestions for you.
First of all, the font was a little hard to read, and since it is not a diary, I suggest maybe you should change it? (Usually styles like that look good in a diary sort of Storybook--unless you want it to feel like a Diary, then that's fine!) But, that might just be me! So don't do that unless you agree with me, if not ignore that suggestion!
A minor thing, but I think it would help if you described what Charlotte looks like, or provide a picture of someone who looks similar to her. That was something I would like, so when I read it I can imagine Charlotte better. Also including YOUR descriptions of the brothers would be good too! Again, so I can picture them. And you can even include a picture of them in there as well! I think pictures of all the characters would fit fell into your Introduction.
Hi Michaela! We are in a group together, hence, I am back on your comment wall to put up more comments :)
ReplyDeleteThe coverpage looks very nice and interesting. The dark layout sets the tone from the beginning. I already have a feel for the story and I haven't read the introduction yet.
Very nice job on the introduction. It provides great details into the background of your storybook and also about how the stories are going to be like. I like how you told us what the actual stories are going to be about. I cannot wait to read them. I liked the layout and the font as I think it fits nicely with the theme of the story.
Now to the actual story. WOW! The story was so beautifully written!! Your ability to have Charlotte tell the story in the past tense and also have dialogues in the present tense is remarkable. The transition was excellent and the story flowed really well. I did not find any error. So great job on that.
I cannot wait for the other stories. Excellent job!
Hi Michaela,
ReplyDeleteI liked the theme you have going on. Your cover image added a nice touch to the dark tales of the Grimm Brothers. Also made me think of their sister spying on them through the bushes and writing in her diary. I also like the grey and blue color scheme. It is easy to read and goes well together. The text in your introduction was a little hard to read but I can see why you chose it. The hand script goes well with the diary theme. I also think it is really cool that you are making them the real unnamed heroes in their stories. But like a little sister would do, you acknowledged it to them being arrogant and building their egos. I think the way you wrote your introduction was very compatible with how a little sister would describe her brothers. She was the true hero! Good job. I think the only thing you are missing is the caption and source of your picture.
I really enjoyed what you have done so far with you storybook. The color scheme and the font I feel really adds another dimension to the story one thing that I would advise changing is maybe making the font bold or bigger because I kind of had a hard time reading it at times. I really enjoyed your writing and other than a few grammatical errors that can be easily fixed. Other than that the style of your writing is really interesting and fun and I can't wait to see where you take this!
ReplyDeleteYour storybook looks amazing! I was instantly drawn in by the title and I knew I needed to see what it was all about. I like that you're making it how the sister is coming back to let people know the real truth to the stories. Having this topic makes allows you to have a lot of ways where you could be creative in your storytelling. I look forward to seeing where you go with that. My only issue is that I had to read a few times because of the font. It's very eerie and in tune with what you're trying to do, but kind of slows you down when trying to read. Other than that, I think you are doing a wonderful job and I look forward to seeing where you go with this storybook in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi again! Since I liked your storybook so much the first time, I decided to revisit it for extra credit! Yay!
ReplyDeleteI liked your rendition of the story of Hansel and Grethel. I did not realize that her name was spelled with a 'th' and not a 't.' Anyways, the only major comment that I have about this story is that while I do enjoy the sidebars, it can be a bit confusing as the reader. It makes you question if our main female protagonist is talking to you the reader, or her brothers, or to those listening in the tavern? Not saying that your diction was bad by any means. Just a bit hard to follow.
Other than that, can't wait to read your next tale!
Your storybook looks great! I love the image you used for the cover page as well as the font. The font definitely gives off that fairytale vibe. However, even though the font matches the theme, it does make reading a little bit harder. Maybe you can have a similar looking font with less curves so that it is easier to read. I also like the color scheme of the storybook; it's dark just like the Grimm stories! Your introduction was great. It set the scene for the rest of your storybook quite well. Your first story was great. It looks like you put a lot of thinking into it, especially at point where the Grimm brothers come into the story. I also liked that you separated the parts of her telling the story and the parts where she interacted with her brothers in "reality." Great job so far on the storybook. I can't wait to read the full thing!
ReplyDeleteHey Michaela,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your Hansel and Gretel story. I thought, like your other story that it had a lot of voice and action and the descriptive language that you used really let me envision the story in my head as I was reading it. I think that the font goes well with the fact that it is a girl who I’m assuming is writing this down in a journal of sorts but the font at times is a little hard to read so I would suggest perhaps either making it bolder or maybe a different color. I really like the way you make it sound that the Grimm brothers were just nonsense and that it was really the sister that fixed everything and I think that this story did a very good job of relating that. Good work and I can’t wait to read your other stories!
Hey Michaela!
ReplyDeleteSo I absolutely love the storybook that you are doing!! I absolutely love it! I think it’s fantastic! I love the idea that the Brothers Grimm were complete idiots and that all of the real work was done by their sister! Like they say, behind every man is a great woman!
I think the idea of this sister gives their stories a whole new dimension and really sets up a fun way to look at the stories. The heroic sister that is always saving the day behind her brothers backs is ingenious! The story of Rumplestiltskin is a perfect example of the way the sister would help and I think it’s a great way to show the story as well! A hidden aspect of an age old story!
The second story is great as well and I can have no complaints about the grammar or the spelling. Seems like you have it well under control! I also really like the layout and design of your storybook, I think it makes it very authentic feeling! Great Job!
This is my second time reading from your Storybook. I really like the concept of your Storybook. The idea of their sister doing their dirty work is such a great concept. Since I've already read your intro and first story, and given comments on that--I have read your second story.
ReplyDeleteI liked seeing the behind the scenes of how the boys found their cases. I reminded me of the show Supernatural, actually.
I thought the plotting we done well, and I liked the interuption from the brothers in the middle of it.
I think some of your paragraphs are too long, so I would vary your paragraph length.
I would also try to describe more. I said before the describe Charlotte and her Brothers. I don't know if you included that yet? But I would have liked to see Hansel described, as well as the Witch.
That being said, I liked how she had a special Witch Gun, and the Witch turned to ashes--that was a really cool concept.
I still think a more simple font would work better. The font is a little hard to read, and as I said, I think the font works better if it were a diary, which it's not.
That being said, I really do like your Storybook and I've enjoyed reading everything that I've read from it!
Wow Michaela! I love your storybook! I love that you brought in the sister to be the brains behind it all. Its clever to that she is coming out to get the credit even though it was always thought her brothers were the masterminds.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time to your storybook, and I love the layout. It has that creepy feel to it, but you kept it easy to read and follow. I really like your font size. I am a huge fan a large fonts because I hate struggling to read those tiny fonts. Your colors are also very easy to read. I know some people may not be too fond of your font choice, but I think it goes with your feel of the Grimm family. The script makes it look and feel kind of creepy.
After reading through your stories, I did not see any major grammar issues. I am really excited to come back and ready more of your storybook later in the semester!
Hi Michaela! I am back on your comment wall because I wanted to read the other story that you added for my extra project feedback assignment.
ReplyDeleteAgain, the layout and the background compliment the style of your story. The coverpage and the introduction both look great.
Wow Michaela, the second story looks really good as well, and it is written in the same style as the first one. So good job on keeping the same tone throughout. The continuation from the first to the second was excellent. You added some great details, which helps when picturing what is happening. The way the house was described, the way the witch's movements were described, and the way the brothers came to the house in the end made it seem like I was watching them in a movie. Great use of details. I didn't find any error in this story either.
I will definitely come back to read the other story that you add. Again, excellent job!
I know that I mentioned it in my last comment, but I really like how you have your Storybook set up and laid out. The way that the photos and font fits so well with the layout is great! The font not only fits with the background, but it also fits the tone of the story. I liked how the story gets interrupted by the brothers and how you divide it into sections. It made it feel more realistic. I thought it was an interesting choice to skip most of the Rumpelstiltskin story or at least skim it. It was a good way for you to focus on your story rather than the story that almost everyone knows. Including the tavern was another small thing that I enjoyed. The interactions between the siblings were fun to read. The tension there felt realistic. It didn’t feel forced or overly cheesy. You did a good job starting off on your Storybook.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say that I love the idea you used for your storybook. It’s brilliant, really, and I can’t wait to read more about it. The mannerisms and style of speech you used for Charlotte really help me get to know her character and I can’t wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteI’m just going to list a few things that stood out to me while reading.
Intro:
• “they were the ‘hunter’” bothers me. Maybe your could change it to say “it was in fact my brothers, not a single hunter, that cut little red…” or replace that sentence with “It was actually my brothers that defeated the witch for Hansel and Gretel, cut Little Red Riding Hood out of the wolf, and revealed Rumplestiltskin’s true name.”
• “Many of the villains that they vanquished were defeated by what would seem to be a great deal of blind luck.” →were actually defeated by a great deal of blind luck.
• Paragraph 6. Many of the sentences start with “Like” maybe replace one with “Or the time when…” Just to add some sentence variety.
• Overall the intro flows really well and makes me want to read more. Great job.
Rumpelstiltskin
• First paragraph: Is she addressing her brothers, the audience at the tavern or the reader? The “I, Charlotte Grimm,” part confused me. It just flows a little strangely from the intro. Maybe say “I turned to my brother and said” or “I addressed the crowed tavern…”
• Second paragraph: Just an idea to reorganize this paragraph.“The tale of Rumpelstiltskin comes from the kingdom of Mackdaddiland. There lived a little man who did magical favors for people in exchange for something of value, usually gold or precious jewels. However, the woman who was now the queen of the land had made a different bargain. In the woman’s past, she had been a miller’s daughter and the little man helped her to become queen by spinning straw into gold. In return she had promised Rumplestiltskin her first-born.
• I love the exchange between the siblings. Very believable and funny.
• I wondered where you came up with Mackdaddiland.
I really like your story and enjoyed reading it. I can’t wait to see how you retell Hansel and Gretel. Overall your storybook is well conceived and executed. I like your design and the font is easy to read once you get used to it. I also like the images you chose for Rumpelstiltskin. I do think that the tavern on the intro page is a little too modern for the Brother’s Grimm time period. I tried to follow the image link to get more information about it and it just took more to the main pixabay site instead of the image page. I found a few good images when I googled 19th century tavern though. Like this one.
These are all just suggestions so if they are not helpful to you, just ignore them! I really like your storybook!
forgot to add the link I found
ReplyDeletehttps://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Holl%C3%B3sy,_Simon_-_Carousing_in_the_Tavern_(1888).jpg
Hi Michaela! For this week, I read the story "Jorinda and Jorindel." As we continue on this journey with Charlotte, I feel as if we get to know her even more and how much she really looks out for her brothers. For this sentence: "He had heard that the Brothers Grimm were in the town, so he had come as fast as he could," I think "had come" sound a little weird. Maybe you can say "he came as fast as he could" instead? I like the joke Charlotte made about her brothers looking like the living dead. The story was amazing and Charlotte's fun and quirky personality made it really interesting to read. I would have liked to hear more about Jorindel and Jorinda though! As for grammar and sentence structure, I think you did a great job in varying how long your sentences were and how they started. It makes it easier to read. There are only a few grammatical errors, which can be easily fixed if you just read it out loud and slowly to yourself. Great job overall.
ReplyDeleteHey Michaela,
ReplyDeleteSo reading your story about Hansel and Grethel was very enjoyable to me because I really like how you incorporated charlotte to the story. It was very interesting how you were able to keep the storyline the same and at the same time have Charlotte kill the witch and saving the children. I think having you not change the storyline gives the whole storybook more meaning because it tells you what really happened without there being a big change to the storyline. I loved the fact that after thing was set and done the two brothers “burst through the trees on horseback, guns drawn.” The way your worded that was excellent because it allowed me to play the little movie in my head of the two brothers arriving at the scene like that. I did not find any major errors that I want to point out. You did a fantastic job on this story and I cannot wait to read more!
Hi Michaela,
ReplyDeleteThis is my second time visit your storybook. I wanted to continue to read your stories because they captured my interest the first time. This time I read the "Hansel and Grethel" story. You did a wonderful job with the flow of the story. Another thing you did really well was keep much of the original storyline but built Charlotte into the story as a main character. It really makes it easier to see the connections between the original stories and the stories that you have created. I giggled at the end when the brothers finally showed up at the scene all ready to do some major action, but everything was already taken care of! And they didn't even check to see if the witch was dead -____- You're doing an amazing job! I look forward to reading more.
Hi Michaela,
ReplyDeleteAs this week’s assignment called for a review of a storybook we have looked at in the past, I knew I wanted to look at the other stories you added. I thought it was funny that Charlotte reintroduced herself in “Rumpelstiltskin”. Like your introduction, it is very reminiscent to how a younger sister would act towards her older brothers who always take the credit of any heroic actions. I also found it humorous that the brothers thought Rumpelstiltskin would be dumb enough to fall for an animal trap. The interjections was also very believable. Sibling rivalry at its best. Charlotte had the name of this little tiny man about to take the baby prince away from the Queen but miraculously, the animal trap worked giving her brothers all the credit. I didn’t even notice the Kingdom name until you mentioned it in your author’s note. “Mackdaddiland,” is the funniest name, I laughed out loud when you referenced it.
I keep finding myself returning to your Storybook! I think yours is one of my favorites in the class! I just think it's such a cool retelling of the stories that most of us know. Plus the concept is so original. I don't think anyone has ever done the story about the Grimm's sister before!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of this story before, so this was all new to me!
I love stories with fairies, and this was a mean fairy! I was hooked in right away.
I wondered how she found out about the fairy though, maybe add in that she had spoken to local people or she overheard the stories.
So, I liked that you added that she found out about the flower in an old book.
I was thiking that she was going to become a bird, but when I saw it happen I was still surprised! What a great plot twist, and complication for the main character. (conflict makes good stories great!) As you said, it adds a great dimension to this Storybook. I hadn't thought she was perfect, but now that you mention it, I do think it was a good idea for her to have a slip-up.
As per usual, I enjoyed the comedic interuptions from her bothers.
I also think your choices with making her a falcon, and the book by Hans Christian Anderson were really thoughtful and well done. The falcon represented her so much better.
Hi Michaela!
ReplyDeleteI remember reading your storybook not long ago, but I wanted to come back and see what else you had added, and I am so glad I did!
I still find this entire theme to be one of the most entertaining in the class! I love the sibling rivalry for the credit.
Your stories are so easy to read, and easy to follow along. I think what sets your stories apart from others is your aspect of comedy. You keep the mood light in a way through the brothers.
I am really looking forward to seeing your final and finished project in the next couple of weeks! You have done a great job so far!
Hi Michaela! I am so happy that I came back to revisit your story! In your latest tale (Jordina and Jorindel), I think you did a good job with telling the tale in your own way, while bouncing back and forth between the storytelling and the bar. I had all of the same thoughts that you had in your author's note, like how Charlotte is actually seen making quite a few mistakes. It makes her character more realistic and believable since you gave her another level of humanity.
ReplyDeleteMy only suggestion to you would be concerning the spacing. Yes, I like how nicely spaced out all of your text is. But it does not have to be that after every two sentences that there is a new paragraph, like when you talk of Charlotte being in search of the purple flower.
You did a great job with the visual placements and everything else, so good job once more!
I remembered visiting your storybook earlier in the semester. It was probably one of the first ones I think I visited. Your storybook was one that stood out to me even to this point because it was so unique. I loved that you took stories that everyone has heard before and told them from a new perspective. I think this is the most effective to retell a story that most of your readers have previously heard. One of the smaller aspects that I particularly enjoy is the banter between the brothers and their sister. She is always so quick to put them in their place! And it’s funny that the other people within the tavern do the same! It is looking like the boys reputation is going downhill pretty fast. Great work on your storybook so far! I can’t wait to see what else you write as the semester progresses.
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time visiting your project and I must that I am glad that I did! I have heard about the Grimms before and the tales that are associated with them but I think that what you are doing with the stories is very cool. It is such a plot twist to find out that there was a third person involved with all these heroic actions. I would like to start out by saying that I love your layout. It is mysterious and fits in very nicely with the mystery of finding out what really happened in these stories. I read your Introduction this week and I enjoyed it very much. I did not notice grammatical errors and if there were some they were obviously not that bad since I was able to get through the story without any issues. I am excited to read more from this sister's point of view and will definitely consider this a project to come back to in the future. Great job.
Hi again Michaela,
ReplyDeleteHansel and Gretel has always been a story that really bothered me in ways. After all, what kind of parent leaves their kids out in the woods to die? I like the fact that Charlotte always gets the jump on her two brothers simply by doing work. It’s as if she isn’t having to try very hard, yet she still manages to best them. I was a little curious why it took the brothers and the travelers so long to get to Crumbleton in comparison with Charlotte. There are little things, like the “of course” in the sentence “I, of course, had gotten far more information…” that really help make Charlotte’s character for me. I also like that she is a little innocent or naïve at times, like when she got lost in the woods. That helps make her a round character in my opinion. It makes her complex. After all, no one is a hero 100% of the time.
Hello Michaela! Oh I love your storybook topic! The entire idea is just fantastic and the second I saw the title I knew I had to click it. The idea that the brothers had a younger sister who really saved the day, oh I can't put into words how much I love it. She played the part of quiet hero until she could bear their arrogance no longer and then bam! Calling them out in front of every patron of the bar, you go girl! And really, how dumb are they to continue to deny her claim only to have more embracing evidence laid against them. If only they weren't so thick skinned and just thanked her after the first story then they'd have saved themselves maybe a little bit of face. I love how even though she is the true hero and she is calling them out she still retains an air of humility that makes her likable and different from her brothers.
ReplyDeleteHi, Michaela!
ReplyDeleteI decided to take a look at your storybook this week for my free choice, and I was not disappointed. First, I love the font and colors you chose for your storybook. The blues compliment the grey background very well, and the font goes perfectly with the diary idea.
I read your introduction, and I thought it was really well done! The little sister with praiseworthy older siblings is something so many people can relate to! The line about their egos made me laugh, and reminded me of some people that I know—like I said, relatable. I think your transition at this point into the real content of your storybook was really well done. You made an already relatable, likeable character into an adventuring badass—who doesn’t like that? I would have loved to seen a little bit more about her motivation for letting her brothers believe they were the heroes, but other than that, I absolutely loved it! I can’t wait to read more.
Hi, Michaela!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I stumbled upon your work relatively recently, I loved both your storytelling and your project! SinceI enjoyed your work so much, I wanted to include you in the final appreciation week of blog comment extra credit. I appreciate what was obviously hard work and well thought out stories on your part! I hope the rest of your semester goes really well, and I hope you are able to finish out this class strong (I have no doubt you will).
Hi Michaela, let me start off by saying that it is a pleasure to read your stories. I love your characters and the entire theme of the storybook. This entry did not disappoint. Charlotte once again steals the scene with her feisty attitude.
ReplyDeleteI really like the images your chose for this story. The help set the right mood for each scene, from the deserted streets of the town to the slightly spooky forest.
I thought it was interesting that Wilhelm and Jacob were not the only people traveling to Crumbleton to defeat the witch. What happened to the other men when they got to the town?
I would also like to hear more about how the brothers made fools of themselves in the town.
I love the fact that Charlotte got lost in the woods and she wasn’t afraid to admit it when she retold the story. It says a lot about the kind of person she is and lends her even more credibility with her audience. I enjoyed the interplay between the siblings in this interjection. I can see these types of arguments coming up in real life between siblings. Its also nice to see that they still care about each other.
One thing I wondered about was that Grethel wasn’t being fed. Charlotte arrived in town three weeks before and witches like plump children, right? Seems like the witch would be keeping her well-fed too.
I’m really interested in this witch gun. What is it? Is it some special technology or magic? Very cool. I love how Charlotte fearlessly rushes in and saves the day.
I skimmed through a few of the comments on your wall and it looks like the next story is about fairies. I’m so excited to read it! There are several fairies in my storybook so I can’t wait to see what you wrote about and find some more possible material. You did a great job this week.
Hi Michaela. Not only are you one of my project feedback group members for the week, but I also chose you for one of my appreciation posts. I really enjoy reading your storybook and it inspires me to improve my writing. I like your lighthearted writing style and it makes me wish my writing was a bit less serious! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHi Michaela! I am back I because I was checking to see if you added another story. And I was happy to see that you did.
ReplyDeleteAgain, the layout and the background looks really great, and it goes nicely with the stories..
The third story looks really good as well. It is so great to see that you continued on with the same tone and style as the other stories. Some people tend to go off-focus and write in a completely new style, but you kept the same style, which is great! You picked up right where you left off in the second story, which meant that I knew exactly what was happening. Great amount of details again. Great use of the images also as they all did an excellent job complimenting your descriptions. I am starting to like Jacob :)
I am so happy to see that you will add one more story! Cannot wait to read that. Again, excellent job with this one also!
I am writing this comment on your wall because of why I appreciate your work in this class. I appreciate it because you’ve read some of my stories and have always left comments about how it would make my stories better. I always considered your comments when I wrote more stories to make them better. Thank you for your opinions and I hope that you have a nice semester.
ReplyDeleteI loved your story about Rumpelstliltskin! Especially the perspective you gave! I like how you told it in first person and made me feel like I needed to know more the entire time! The fancy font you use is also very great. It fits the personality of your hero.
ReplyDeleteThat's the other thing I really liked. Your hero sold the story and you have made her so confident and forthright. I like it when a hero is completely active and not standing around twittling their thumbs. You make her awesome the whole time. She is a great character and I look forward to see what else will happen in future stories.
I say maybe add some more space with the paragraphs. It gets a little daunting at times reading that much. You could break up the words with some more images. That would do the trick! Keep up the good work!
Hey, Michaela!
ReplyDeleteGreat, great storybook. I understand why it's on the class list of favorites!
Right from the get-go, you transported me into this world. I also really liked the images you picked for your stories, especially the first one. The black and white color scheme was a nice choice to match the theme of your entire storybook. All of your images fit with your stories so well.
Your writing style was an interesting choice and you did it really well. I, too, did a diary-style of writing, so it was cool to see how someone else interpreted the writing style. I really, really enjoyed reading yours! I like the interludes with the characters during the tales.
I also like how you concluded your story with "the tale that started it all."
Overall, GREAT job! I really enjoyed reading your storybook. It was entertaining! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your year.
Hi Michaela!
ReplyDeleteI was so excited to see that your storybook was voted one of the favorites because I have been following along with it all semester!
I will tell you over and over how creative I think this idea is! I never would have thought to pull in a sister character to tell and re tell stories. I also really enjoy how you bring some comedic relief to some of these stories!
You also have great pictures with your stories! If you can not tell yet, I really really like your storybook!
Having the diary-style writing made it much easier to connect with your stories. I never struggled with following along or understanding why something happened because you wrote very clear and very detailed.
I have very impressed with your storybook and think you should consider a blog outside of class too! I would read it! Thank you for giving me something fun and entertaining to read all semester! Good job!
Hi Michaela! I'm back once again! First off, congrats on your storybook being a class favorite! I knew that I had to come back one last time to finish reading your storybook, since the last time I read was Jorinda and Jorindel. I thought you chose a good tale to end your storybook on, which gave you a somewhat optimistic outlook! I feel bad for the brothers, though, and how they never knew that dear Charlotte had a husband who is now missing. You kept your writing consistent and did NOT end up on a flop! Great job!
ReplyDeleteYou did such a great job on this storybook. I really liked reading every story. The background and images really helps us visualize the events, settings, and characters in the story. The font was easy to read and wasn’t boring. It also didn’t take away from the story.
ReplyDeleteI felt like all the stories were very well written. It was very nice to have it written in first person and to have thought quotes throughout. It put us in your head and put us head first in the story. It was also personalized because we knew what you were thinking. I didn’t see any grammatical errors or confusing parts, so you did a good job with editing. The exclamation marks really put emphasis throughout. This was something I wish I did for my story to really put it in the moment when someone was yelling. The stories were very captivating and I really liked reading the Set The Record Straight story. It got intense at times and that really pulled me in. You did a great job with this and I’m glad I read this.
I love this storybook! I voted it as one of my favorites for the assignment last week. I always enjoy stories that come from a different perspective than the more commonly told one. I read the final story on your site and I thought it was a great way to end it! The brothers finally came around to accepting their sister’s help and offering her some. I like the fact that you added another side to your narrator. Not only is she a certified badass, but she is also a very sympathetic and compassionate person who cares about those around her. I wish the story would continue on so I could know if she ends up finding her husband! I’ll just choose to think that she does and they all live happily ever after. Really wonderful job on your site! I’m so glad I chose to able to revisit your Storybook!
ReplyDeleteHi Michaela,
ReplyDeleteI've been following your storybook for most of the semester and it’s one of my favorites. You did a wonderful job developing Charlotte’s character throughout the stories. I can totally picture her as a falcon, not some simpering songbird.
As I was reading your last story, it really struck me how much Charlotte acts like an older sister. She is always looking out for her brothers and keeps a cool head under pressure. I also like how Wihelm and Jacob started to develop their own characters as well. When Jacob finally gave Charlotte her due, I couldn’t help but smile.
When you introduced her husband, I was shocked. That was a great way to retell The Robber Bridegroom and it was totally unexpected. Looking back at your other stories, it would be awesome to add in some foreshadowing about her husband. Perhaps she could have some unnamed helper in some of the exploits. I can really see them working together to save her brothers.
I also love how you ended your storybook with the start of a new adventure. There was closure but my imagination is running wild with all the possibilities for the future. I think you did a great job on this project and I really enjoyed reading your stories.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI read your storybook back when there was only the introduction, but I would never have guessed it would progress as it did. I am really impressed with the style you chose to write in (retelling the story through a character to a crowd) and the tales you picked to inspire your entries. I feel like this would be a perfect spin on a classic to make into a movie!
I think my favourite of the tales is probably Jorinda and Jorindel, just because we get to see that Charlotte is still a person and can make mistakes. It also goes to show that just because you make mistakes doesn't mean you can't come out on top in the end! Overall, I really enjoyed the journey and I think the sequel hook at the end was really well placed. These adventurers aren't done yet! Congrats on making the Favourites List; it's easy to see why!
Hello, Michaela!
ReplyDeleteYour storybook was a blast to read! I enjoyed it so much that I just had to read the entire thing in one go. The Brothers Grimm are the top fairytale stories that I loved to read as a child. This reimagining of them told by their sister was a great story.
The style of your storybook really set the tone for some awesome adventures that were told by Charlotte. Each story she told only revealed how much she helped her brothers conquer the evil witches, fairies, and other beings. That last story was a sad and touching story and left an open door for more adventures to come.
I love it how her brothers kept interrupting and how you separated their injections each time. It really added to the storytelling aspect of your storybook because it simulated what actually would happen whenever someone tells such stories.
Honestly, I feel like your storybook could become a potential movie. In fact, as I read your stories, each scene in my mind had many actors and actresses playing the role of the brothers and Charlotte as well as the people in the tavern and stories.
Awesome job!
Hello Michaela,
ReplyDeleteI nominated your storybook as one of the best ones in the class. I really enjoyed reading the stories that you wrote in it all semester. I loved it because you kept it close to the original stories when the brothers kept "swooping in" and saving the day even though the sister did most of the work.
When I read your stories, I kept picturing them in my mind like a TV show and I think it would be an amazing one to watch. It is like an alternate reality and I love that.
Your imagery and storytelling really added to the theme and mood you set in your storybook. You did a seriously amazing job. Good work this semester, you should be insanely proud!
I remember this being one of the first storybooks that I read. It sure has come a long way and it looks wonderful! I enjoyed reading it this time just as much as I did the first time. The way you incorporated so many different pictures really brought the stories alive. I liked the way you ended your storybook with setting the record straight, and letting people know the end result. You never forgot what the stories were supposed to be about, and you ended it just like you started it. Your author's notes told exactly what was needed about the original and how you changed it up. A lot of people do not put much thought into their author's notes, but they are one of my favorite things to read because they tell what the author was thinking of when they were writing the stories.
ReplyDeleteI remember coming to your storybook and thinking that it was a great project. Congratulations on the nomination! Your hard work has been noticed! After reading come of your stories I can see why it was nominated. I love how you work very closely with the originals yet make it your own. I also think that your stories to an excellent job of building off of each other. Your entries really are like new chapters in a book and I think that is very important in this type of project. I really enjoyed the ending to your storybook as the reader got a concrete answer rather than just a lot of wondering. I think your Author's notes are also really excellent. They are really descriptive and that really helped me out to know exactly what your intentions were and what you were thinking when you were writing. Another thing about your stories that I really did enjoy was your incorporation of images. I think you place them in great spots throughout your writing. This was an excellent project!
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely loved your storybook this semester and I am very glad that I got to read it! Your writing in the story Jorinda and Jorindel was very well done and I really enjoyed reading it. I thought the little minor details that you added like them not being very tolerant with the amount of alcohol that they drink really gave the characters some more depth and really lets the reader get to know them better. I also like the fact that you changed the type of bird that Charlotte turned into to make her personality. Making it a very strong and fierce bird really aided to the overall understanding of the type of girl that she is and I think that it was a really nice addition to the story. Overall your writing technically is very good and you should be proud of all the hard work you have done this semester!
ReplyDeleteHello! I am actually in the Indian Epics class, but since this week we are given the opportunity to comment on other works, I decided to read through your storybook. It was really interesting to see how the different classes have their own styles of writing, based on what we have all been reading and I definitely enjoyed reading through your storybook. Firstly, I was really intrigued by the title of your Storybook. I grew up reading an old copy of Grimm’s fairy tales and also one of my favorite movies is The Brothers Grimm with Heath Ledger and Matt Damon. I like how you portrayed the brothers as arrogant and fool-hardy. Your character of Charlotte reminded me of the saying, “Behind every great man is a great woman,” which I definitely appreciated. Overall, I really loved your story book. Good luck with the remainder of the semester and finals!
ReplyDelete